I really enjoy living near you, but I have a couple of requests of you. First off, could you please, please, please quit barbecuing every single day? When I smell your perfectly seared steaks, I lose my appetite for the day-old casserole I am serving. It would so help my budget and diet if you would eat more liver and onions or mac and cheese.
Also, could you cool it on the landscaping? Your flowers and green lawn are beautiful, but they make my lawn full of dandelions look shabbier than ever. If you would mow just a little less often, my 6-inch high grass wouldn't look nearly as tall. Seriously, if you could just exert a little laziness, my life would be much simpler. It's not a lot to ask, is it? I mean, besides the patchy lawn, crying kids, and toys left strewn everywhere, we aren't terrible neighbors, are we? You don't have to put up that much from us aside from the occasional garbage that blows up onto your lawn because Bil has forgotten to weigh the lid from the can down so as to keep raccoons out.
Oh, and yes, I know my kids have on occasion wandered into your yard, not to mention all the sticks they throw to your dogs. But really, when you have a dog aren't you just begging for kids to throw sticks in your yard? Aside from that and the occasional yelling, my kids are quite charming, aren't they?
And I know we had a tractor parked in your driveway for much of last summer, and Bil has forgotten to return a borrowed tool, but....well, I can't really think of much to excuse that.
Think of it this way, less yard work and grilling will free up some leisure time for you. I'm just thinking of you and your stress levels.
Because that's just the kind of thoughtful neighbor I am.