Friday, March 5, 2010

lessons I have learned this week

~~~~Do not ever walk away from the stove while cooking milk for pudding or melting chocolate for truffles or boiling water for mac and cheese. I always do this and invariably forget about what is on the stove, sometimes until it is too late.

Have you ever tasted chocolate pudding made with scorched milk?

It's vile.

~~~~If something comes in a pair, be it socks, gloves, shoes, barrettes, lungs, kidneys, we will lose one of them, guaranteed. And not only that, but we will lose it when we most need it. Like this morning as Danny was readying himself for school. We couldn't find his other glove. I have three gloves for him, but no matches for any of them, so he was forced to wear his blue glove with my tan one, which is slightly too big for him.

I am willing to bet I will find those gloves this Spring when they are no longer needed. Or next year when he has outgrown them.

~~~Check the wash machine before doing a load of laundry. Trust me.

~~~~Do not store recyclables on top of the washing machine or you could end up with a load of clothes covered in what I can only guess is the remains of some sort of cardboard box (probably one that once contained cereal, but I cannot be sure.)

~~~~Wet cardboard really makes a big mess in your washing machine. A mess that may take as long as a week to fully clean up.

~~~~If you are having a rough day and want to boost your self-esteem, don't turn to your kids to help. If you happen decide to ignore this advice, you may want to have a cookie or similar treat on hand with which to bribe your child. Otherwise, you may end up getting an unsatisfactory reply to your misguided question, "Charlotte, do you love me?"

~~~If you think you smell poop, you probably do.

No amount of air fresheners or Scentsy wickless candles will change the fact that there is poop in your house somewhere. Because it is there. Oh, it is there, mocking you and laughing at your inability to locate it. Yes, the poop is lying in wait and taking delight in your attempts to convince yourself that it is not, in fact, excrement that you smell.

But, it is. It is.

And it will only be that much more infuriating when you find the offending waste product if you have denied its existence in the first place.


7 comments:

Sarah said...

I seriously think poop mocks moms big time. I concur with your assessment 100%. Emma has had a broken zipper on her winter jacket now for months---it still works but splits at the bottom everyday. It kills me because the coat was expensive and I have had the zipper replaced twice. I give up---it's March :)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

If you think you smell poop you probably do.....LOL!

And yes, I've tasted scorched-milk pudding. Ick.

Evenspor said...

This post describes motherhood so well.

gretchen said...

Oh, I hate that feeling. When you smell it. You know it's there. Someone or something has done it. But where could that poop be?

Susan said...

We have the same issues with gloves. One of the ladies in the pick up line at school says she buys 3 pairs of the same gloves every year. Same size, same color, same everything. She never has a problem with missing gloves. Never a problem with gloves that don't match. So simple. So Genius.
I will be doing this next year.

Mrsbear said...

POOP.

Ugh. I once found what looked like a Cocoa Puff in my son's bedroom. I picked it up and thought to myself, "I don't remember buying Cocoa Puffs recently." Then I took a whiff.

Oh, cruel, cruel world.

Thank God I didn't try to taste it.

The washing machine debacle sounds awful, just awful.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Haa! Love it! The poop one...yeah..I know that too well.