Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lance Armstrong, I'm not

Unless of course Lance Armstrong has ever pulled a groin muscle while trying to kick up the kickstand on his bike. Because really, I think that takes the talent of an exceptional cyclist. And he probably never almost puked after biking for only 45 minutes either, huh? Yeah, I guess I don't have too much in common with Lance....

I started a new biking regimen today because I have been having more foot troubles. What am I? 80? I swear I feel like it sometimes.

Anyway, in an attempt to allow my foot to heal, I have decided to nix the aerobics for the time being. However, not willing to lose momentum in my weight loss, (ie: not willing to gain back the measly 3 pounds I have managed to lose in the last 4 months) I knew I had to do some form of exercise. As I don't like to put my face in water, biking won out.

So, this afternoon, I packed Charlotte up in the bike trailer with a container of snacks (for her) and plenty of water, and off we went on a biking adventure. I decided to bike through our cemetery since it was the only place I could think of where there were no cars, and therefore few witnesses to my gracelessness. Well, unless you count any ghosts that might be haunting the graveyard.

As I was biking, it hit me that it might be slightly morbid and possibly irreverent for me to be exercising in the resting place of so many souls. I don't know.... But, at one point as I rode down one of the extremely steep hills there, I started to call out, "Whoohoo!" and I had to stop myself. As much as I am not superstitious, I so do not want to anger some disgruntled spirit. The last thing I need in my life is a poltergeist haunting my home. We already have enough objects flying through the air, not to mention items that mysteriously disappear (dang library books!), thank you very much.

Anyway, as I mentioned, there are a lot of hills in this cemetery---really steep hills, close to the size of what I imagine Mt. Everest to be. Let's just say that I had to walk and push my bike up most of the hills, while Charlotte lounged in the trailer commenting on how slow we were going in between bites of Goldfish crackers. Hey, before you judge, tell me when the last time you dragged 50 pounds of kid and trailer behind your bike. I swear, that trailer and my daughter were practically pulling me backwards on the hills. At one point, I thought we were done for, that we would roll backwards, picking up speed until we crashed into some 100 year old tombstone. So, walking up the hills was the only way to avoid certain death.

One plus about riding (or scaling hills, as the case may be) in a cemetery is there is plenty of reading material to peruse as you crawl by. I was busy reading names of all these interesting dead folks when the thought hit me, "Why did I bother to bring my bike on this trip if I was going to have to walk up all the hills?"

Well, so that when I actually did ride the bike, the breeze could dry off some of the sweat that was dripping down my face, maybe?

8 comments:

Amy Jane said...

Oh, Patty, I just love reading your blog. You have such a way with words! I feel terrible that I have been neglecting my blog, but I'm just not feelin' it lately, ya know?

a Tonggu Momma said...

*snicker* I almost always leave your blog chucking. Although I probably should not admit to that fact after this post. I promise I'm laughing at Lance and goldfish crackers, NOT you.

Mrsbear said...

Tee-hee. At least you're moving! That's definitely progress. Luckily for me almost everything in Florida is completely flat, so none of my exercising involves steep inclines. I don't think there's anything wrong with exercising in a cemetery, I find them to be wonderful places to visit, they're so dang serene. Now, I don't think you'd catch me pedaling my way through one AFTER dark...I've seen way to many episodes of "A Haunting" for that kind of daring.

Keep biking! Those 3 pounds are just the beginning.

lonestar said...

LOL, I love reading your narrations :).

You're light-years ahead of me, I am still working up the motivation to start exercising...

goodfountain said...

What a hilarious post, Patty! You are a stitch.

I have been working hard at exercising too! It kinda sucks but it's worth it, no?

Stonefox said...

You crack me up!

I used to eat my lunches at a local cemetery when I worked downtown in Memphis. It was actually very peaceful. I'm not creeped out by cemeterys, but I do realize that others might have thought my choice was a bit quirky!

Deb's World said...

This may sound weird, but I swim with snorkel gear so I don't have to move my head in and out of the water. If you are ok with putting it in you might want to give it a try. You might get some odd looks, but who cares.

Kia (Good Enough Mama) said...

Hehehe. You are indeed an (finger quotes)"exceptional" (end finger quotes) cyclist, my dear Patty. In. Deed. :) Hey, you're ahead of me. So far all I do is think about exercising. Think. Not do. Sigh...