Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about marriage and how to make ours last. One major piece of advice was to be unselfish. I know this is really important; putting the needs of your partner over your own has to happen at least some of the time. This is also advice that I am seriously struggling with right now.
All I can think of is all the needs I have that aren't being met. I know I can't rely on my husband to meet all my needs, and it is not his fault that most of them aren't being met. But still, instead of thinking of what he needs, all I can think of is how I haven't had a break from the kids in ages. I haven't even had help getting them ready for bed in weeks. Obviously, it is not his fault that he is gone every evening. That is not what I am saying. I guess what I am getting at is that I am totally focused on what I want and need and not really thinking about what he needs. And when I try to think about his needs, I just feel more selfish and resentful, because I don't want to think about one more person's needs right now. I want to think about me, darnit.
So, how do I let go of some of my selfishness, resentment, and irritability so that we can work as a team? How do I focus a bit less on myself, especially when I don't exactly want to do so?