Tuesday, May 12, 2009

why I will probably never win the mother of the year award

In honor of Mother's Day, Michelle at All About Potential posted the reasons why she is the best mother in the world.  She encouraged others to follow her lead.  And I tried.  I really did, but all I could think of were the really scatter-brained things I have done lately, or the areas in which I lack.  So, here are a few of the reasons I will probably never win the mother of the year award, but I am ok with that.

** The other day around 11 or so, I was feeding Tommy and I felt some wetness on my lap.  I wasn't fazed--his diaper leaks every so often.  When I changed his diaper, though, it was fuller than I have ever seen it.  It was then that I realized that I hadn't changed his diaper all morning, like since probably 5 am.  I don't know how I forgot, except that we were running late that morning..... yeah, lame excuse.

** Charlotte had french fries and lemonade for lunch Thursday.  I went out for lunch with some friends to celebrate a birthday and I so needed the adult time that I bribed the kid.  I ordered her just the fries and lemonade because I knew she would be content for at least 45 minutes.  I didn't even try to get her to eat anything healthy at all.  I didn't even order chicken nuggets in an attempt to look less negligent.  Nope, just the fries and lemonade.  She loved it!

** I regularly laugh when my kids wipe out.  OK, not when they are crying or bleeding or anything, but when they fall and it isn't too serious, I just can't help but laugh.  I swear they look like slap stick comedians and make some totally funny falls.  Plus, the looks on their faces are hysterical--that stunned, did-I-just-do-that-look.  See, I am a mean mommy.  In my defense, it typically diffuses the situation and the kids often end up laughing with me.  So, I guess am teaching them the valuable life lesson of being able to laugh at themselves.

** Danny's teacher has recommended to all the parents whose kids can't tie their shoes that we work with them at home.  So what have I done?  Absolutely nothing.   Nothing at all.  We both prefer to be lazy and use velcro.

** I have never had a birthday party for either of my kids.  We have never invited the kids' friends over for birthday cake.  Nope, instead, we keep it just the immediate family because I just don't have it in me to host a bunch of crazy kids who will overstimulate my kid.

** I lie to my kids.  Quite often, actually.  You know, I tell them things like, "I don't have any candy" or "That toy that talks?  Oh, the batteries must be dead" or "Sorry, I don't know how to fix that.  Go ask Daddy to do it."  That kind of thing.

**The other night I made a quesadilla for Danny for dinner and forgot it in the microwave for about an hour.  It wasn't until Danny mentioned how hungry he was that I realized I had never given the kid his meal.

**My kids never sleep in a bed.  Even as I am writing this, both kids are sleeping on the floor.  Charlotte is actually splayed in the middle of the hallway.  I hope neither of us trip on her on our way to make Tommy a bottle.

** I let my kids jump on the bed.  All the time.

**I let my kids eat raw cookie dough.  And as I can never resist the siren call of chocolate chip cookie dough, I can't even bring myself to cut them off, since that would mean I couldn't eat it either.

** I have been known to let Danny play outside in the rain and get totally filthy and soaking wet. I have actually joined him in his escapades and we had a lot of fun. 

I hope you all had a great Mother's Day. I know I did.  I received something like 5 different forms of candy (all chocolate, of course, since any other candy just isn't worth it) and a half dozen roses.  What more could a girl ask for?  Oh, and I received a couple nights of uninterrupted sleep, courtesy of my wonderful husband.  Doesn't Bil rock?

9 comments:

a Tonggu Momma said...

You mean we AREN'T suppose to laugh when they fall? Because I totally do... unless she's bleeding or broken or something. And I often lie to the Tongginator. I'm a terrible mother, too.

Sarah said...

Love, love, love the diaper admission as well as forgetting Danny's dinner in the microwave. I just let Emma crawl into bed without a bath tonight even though she probably needed one....I'll hose her down in the morning.

Mrsbear said...

I'm there with ya. I could have penned most of those entries myself. I do occasionally beat myself up for it, but I could definitely be a worse mother. I did a post last year about why I'm not the world's worth mother, I think that was a Kia idea as well. Besides I think the cookie dough and the puddle splashing makes you a great mom and I'm sure your kids would agree. ;)

MOM-NOS said...

Love it! I think we've all done those things at one time or another.
Thanks for posting and making the rest of us feel normal! LOL

allaboutpotential said...

I think that many of those could be seen as why your kids think you are a GREAT mother. That's the whole point. Don't judge the job you are doing by what other moms or "society" think of a good. Judge by the grins and hugs you get from your kids.

(And I have been known to forget a diaper, a meal & feed my kids cookie dough too!)

bernthis said...

well then I must REALLY suck as a mom. You and I, two peas in a pod

Amy Jane said...

Patty,

I, too, am totally guilty of #s 3, 4, 5, 6, and 9. :) Nick is 5 years old and still can't really dress himself, let alone tie his shoes! And I, too, have never had a birthday party for Nick with other kids. But you know what? - he doesn't seem to care one bit, and loves his familial parties. I'll do the kid party thing when he asks for it, and I can tell you right now that it WON'T be at my house! :)

Kim said...

All of that just makes you normal! Trust me, any mom who says she hasn't done any of that is full of crap. I know I've done it all... every single one.

Laura said...

and I am ignoring my kid who needs help in the bathroom because I am too busy reading your blog...