Monday, May 4, 2009

Monday Mumbers--more throw up, chocolate and diets

For some really good Monday Mumbers, go visit Kia, the creator and Monday Mumbers goddess.

2 Number of times Charlotte threw up this weekend.

789 Number of times I worried that Charlotte must have the swine flu.

23,457 Number of times I have wanted to make a joke about the swine flu.  Call me immature, but I can't get the image of cartoon pigs with runny noses eating chicken soup out of my head.  Do pigs actually get the flu?  Will my daughter start snorting and oinking soon?

1 Number of times I almost ran screaming from my house Saturday.  After Charlotte got sick, Bil went off to the store to buy every form of electrolyte known to man.  I was totally freaking out that this would be a repeat of March's trip to the ER, so I was watching Charlotte like a hawk and praying she would be ok,  Anyway, Bil was gone maybe 3.6 minutes before everything fell apart here in the Pancake house.  Danny had a poop accident (again!!!!) in his underwear and was trying unsuccessfully to clean himself up, and basically the poop got EVERYWHERE.  Tommy was crying because of gas pain, and then Charlotte apparently felt left out of the chaos, because she barfed all over the couch.  So, here I was surrounded by almost every form of bodily secretion I could think of being expelled simultaneously from the bodies of my children.  

You gotta give my kids credit: they are genuises at comic timing.

15 The number of hours I spent Friday frantically cleaning my house for the weekend visit of my brother and his wife.

0 The number of visitors who came and enjoyed my freshly cleaned house.  My sister-in-law woke up Saturday morning with a bad sore throat, so basically all that cleaning was for naught.

15 The number of minutes it took my kids to undo all the cleaning I had done on Friday what with all the poop, vomit and just regular playing .

4.2 Number of pounds I had lost this month before I weighed in this week

2 Number of pounds I supposedly gained this week despite having stuck pretty well to my diet.  
No, seriously.  I actually cut myself off from the mini Mint 3 Musketeer bars and am going through withdrawals.  I'm sitting here sweating and jonesing for one of those 3 Musketeer bars and all for what?  To gain 2 pounds?!?!?!?!  Where is the justice in that?

6578 Number of times I have cursed my scale and thought of tossing the thing out the window.

5 The number of times Bil has exclaimed over the fact that Danny knows how to do a google search.  Apparently, the other day while he was on the computer, Danny got onto google, typed in the words "Baby Einstein," pressed enter, and found the baby einstein home page. Scary.  So, Bil is now looking through all his software to see if we have any parent safety stuff to put on the computer to make sure Danny doesn't accidentally end up ordering thousands of dollars worth of Pixar cars or somehow meeting and falling in love with some old lady from Milwaukee in a chat room.... 

12 comments:

Amy Jane said...

Patty, you're killin' me! I'm so sorry that you did all that cleaning only to have no visitors, and then to have your children poop and barf all over everything. What a shame. (But it is kinda funny, because it didn't happen to me) :). Don't sweat the 2-lb. gain. You know weight is fickle, and next week you'll probably be down again. It's probably just water weight! You're doing wonderfully. Love you!

Laura said...

I counted poop and vomit right there with ya'!
I would rather to be counting margaritas and new shoes

HeatherPride said...

At five years old your kid is already googling stuff? I'm impressed! And I HATE having the house all clean and no one seeing it that way!

Quirky Mom said...

That must be at least 297 fewer times that you wanted to run out of your house screaming on Saturday in comparison to me. That's just a normal Saturday in Casa Quirky. LOL.

Mrsbear said...

After the weekend you had, you definitely deserve a mini Musketeer. I'm just saying. Flu, barf and poop simultaneously while husband is out of the house...the planets were in alignment to totally screw up your day, all bets are off. At least you didn't gain back all four pounds right...silver lining.

bernthis said...

500 the number of times I kept asking myself, why can't I get a second date?

1000 the number of times I rubbed my shin splint.

~ April ~ said...

Aww, sorry about the pukies and the cleaned-turned-very-messy house. ((HUGS))!

Sarah said...

I am astonished that you are one of those "mothers" that allows that kind of chaos to consume your home (I am commenting on multiple posts and of course I am kidding).

There is nothing worse than having bodily fluid crisis all at once. Yet you handled it with laughter and that is the key.

As for Charlotte's evaluation, Jack was busted on the knuckle question too...are you freaking kidding me? And I am constantly wiggling in IEP meetings...not because I have ADHD, but because I am trying not to far aloud....

lilmomthatcould.com said...

That would of made me run from the house too.

kia (good enough mama) said...

Gosh, I don't know how you moms with multiple kids handle the puke and poop extravaganzas. I have enough trouble handling it with my ONE kid.... Your scale can join my scale...

Elizabeth Channel said...

All that poop and throw-up is simply wretched.

I'm looking for grand things from Danny though. That kid is going places! What a clever fellow : )

lonestar said...

((hugs)) I hope Charlotte is feeling better...

lol about the pigs with runny noses, I hadn't thought of that. :)

When Bearhug and Cuddlebug discovered google they typed in their names, apparently there is a college in Canada that shares Bearhug's first name, so he kept telling me he found " 'Bearhug's' internet".