So, I was indulging in one of my many guilty pleasures--reading a dumb magazine--the other day when I came across an interesting article. Over a year ago, in a misguided and futile attempt to reinvigorate my diet and exercise plan, I subscribed to Fitness magazine. It hasn't helped me at all, and I haven't been all that impressed with the articles. In my opinion, they are too cursory and too common sense. Like, duh, really? We shouldn't eat ice cream at every meal? Who knew?
Anyway, I have been too lazy to cancel my subscription, so I still read the fluffy articles. This month there was an article entitled "Deprivation Nation" about sleep and its effects on our health. I think we all know how important sleep is, right? Anyone who has gone through their day in an utter fog knows that sleep is helpful in life. The other day, after one too many nights of interrupted sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I called a friend back and left a message, only to find out hours later that I had dialed a different friend's number and left the message on the wrong answering machine. I put the pepperoni in the freezer rather than the fridge and couldn't find it all day. Yes, I know that I need sleep to function.
So the article talks about some recent research that has found a link between lack of sleep and diabetes. Apparently, not sleeping enough totally screws up your body's ability to process glucose. Great, as if I need one more risk factor for diabetes. Or one more thing to worry about as I wake every night.
The article then goes on to list all these ways you can reset your sleep clock. The author writes as if the reader needed motivation to get more sleep. I had to wonder who she thinks her readers are. I mean, I WANT to sleep. I wish I could sleep all day. I wish I could have a whole week of nights with absolutely no sleep interruptions. No little boy falling out of bed and needing comforting. No toddler waking up screaming at least 3 times a week and requiring hours of needling, bribery and coercion to get back to bed. No need to wake up and use the facilities at least twice nightly. No husband snoring in my ear. Seriously. (This has all happened to me in the last week. I am totally not exaggerating, either.) What I wouldn't give for better sleep. And no amount of avoiding caffeine, no amount of regular exercise or soothing music is going to do it for me. Nope, there is only one answer for me, and it is one my husband stubbornly refuses to accept.
It is a two-fold plan and very simple, though potentially expensive:
a room of my own and boarding school for the kids.
I really don't think this is too much to ask, is it?