Thursday, December 18, 2008

All I want for Christmas....

My brother called last week to get suggestions from me for my birthday present. Apparently, the present he wanted to get me--a "Dwight Schrute is My Sensei" t-shirt--didn't come in my size, which is too bad, because I sure would have loved that. Typically, around this time of year, I have a couple of gift ideas in my head; with having a birthday so close to Christmas, I often have family members asking me for suggestions, so it is best to be prepared. This time, however, my mind was a complete blank (which is happening more and more lately). I had such a hard time coming up with a gift that my brother could get me. Now, that is not to say that I don't have some Christmas wishes. I do. Many. They just happen to be gifts that no one is willing or able to get me. Here is a partial list:

**I would love a guarantee that within 3 months of giving birth to this child I am carrying that I will be down to a siz 10. OK, yes, I know that I was not a size 10 when I got pregnant, but this is the season of miracles, right? So, why not dream big (or I guess I should say "small.")?

**I want my kids to do every single thing I ask them to do as soon as I ask them for a whole day. No arguments or pouting. No, I want them to answer each of my requests with an enthusiastic, "Sure, mom. I would love to! Is there anything else I can do for you?"

**If my kids developed a new love for vegetables, it would be a dream come true. They wouldn't even have to love all veggies, just a few of the typical ones, like beans and carrots or corn. It doesn't matter, as long as they get vegetables from a source other than ketchup, I would be happy.

**A housecleaner who would come twice a month and who would also declutter and reorganize my entire house. And if I can get really greedy, I would love my house to actually stay clean longer than 10 minutes.

**I would like an entire day all to myself with no one at all to worry about or feed or clean up after. I am not entirely sure what I would do with myself, but I know it would include sleeping in, using the bathroom uninterrupted, reading, relaxing, meeting a friend for a movie, and not doing ANY cooking or cleaning or wiping of any small behinds.

**Speaking of friends, I want one of my close friends to come and live in my town. Or even if one of them could move within a few hours, that would be great. I have friends here, but I so miss the really close friends I have who I have really shared life experiences with--it seems to take so long now to develop those types of relationships...

**This might give me a heart attack, but I want to have my kids and husband put all their dirty clothes in the hamper all the time. No more picking up stray socks and pants in the living room, bathroom, kitchen, etc. And if they could put away their clean clothes instead of just throwing them around the room, that would just be an added bonus.

**I want Charlotte to resume her nap schedule. I need those naps in a serious way. Why do my kids always quit taking their naps right before I am about to give birth and subsequently be incredibly sleep-deprived? Just one more sign that my kids are conspiring to drive me insane.

**I know this is asking a lot, but I would love to be able to perform grooming tasks, like clipping nails, cutting hair, washing hair, combing hair on my children without them screaming like I have poured boiling oil down their backs. As if the neighbors need any more encouragement to report me to DCFS!

But here is the thing I want most, more than anything: (well, besides world peace and an end to the atrocities in the Congo, among other things) that someone come and completely potty train my two angels quickly. Seriously, this would be the best Christmas or birthday present ever. Please? Anyone?

What about you? What's on your list?

11 comments:

a Tonggu Momma said...

I'll call my momma. She potty trained three of my sister's four children (and the fourth is only nine months old). Alas, she wasn't able to potty train the Tongginator. Because SOME people are just so STUBBORN. But whatever. I shall ask on your behalf. (oh, and where do you live? LOL)

Amy Jane said...

Patty,

At least I'm only 3.5 hours away - and you need to pick a time when you can come for a couple of days all by yourself and visit me! I'm sure that if you plan ahead with Bil, you could find a weekend when that would work in Jan. or Feb. And if not then, then come next summer or fall and bring the baby!

Oh, and the main thing I want for Xmas is for my house to stay magically free of dust and smudges with no effort on my part. :)

Kim said...

If someone gives you a gift that keeps your house clean for longer than 10 minutes, please send them my way with the same gift. That would be heaven on earth.

I am with you on the nap thing too since Meechi has decided he doesn't need his anymore but is then totally grouch because he didn't nap. Frustrating, isn't it?

Of course it's your last two that I am really, really with you on. We all need a fairy godmother or something to come grant those for us!

Quirky Mom said...

The house cleaning and organizing is definitely on my list. And could they work on my car at the same time, please?

But the biggest thing I want is some direction for my life. I want to know what I want to be when I grow up, and I want to actually keep wanting it for a long time. I don't want to burn out on yet another career. Sigh.

kia (good enough mama) said...

I think I'll just round up most of your list and we can make it a double, ok? :)

goodfountain said...

I want someone to rebuild everything I lost on my hard drive.

And then I want them to come inside my office and organize me. I'm overwhelmed.

Sigh. Tis the season!

Laura said...

Holy crap. We have the same list.

allaboutpotential said...

I love your last wish. I have the same one. Move out to the middle of nowhere. At least the neighbours can't hear them then!

If I only had a magic wand - clean house, quiet time & size 5 for everybody

rainbowmummy said...

What a great list. Yep I think I'll just print a copy and score out the few that don't apply to this mama and send it off to santa. Sure beats socks :0)

Casdok said...

Love your list! Its good to dream! C has given me his christmas present!

bernthis said...

1. A boyfriend that lasts longer than two months.
2. A boyfriend that lasts longer than two months.
3. A boy....

You get the picture.